You will be remembered for your love and changing lives, not taking a life

On January 2014, in the dark of the night, a man with roots in Garberville, surprised a priest. He robbed, tortured and killed an innocent man. On May 18, 2013, in the still of the night, a suspect also with roots in Garberville, is accused of killing two innocent people.

Sometimes death looms, but these deaths were unexpected.  They shocked and horrified this local community. They made headlines. Only the people closest to the victims still feel the pain and for them, the memory of that moment when their lives changed forever is still as vivid as when it first happened.

I thought only those who knew Fr. Eric and knew me would understand my pain. Little did I know then, that months later, I would meet someone who understands how I feel without words being shared.

As the details of Fr. Eric’s death slowly started trickling in, as I sat in court for the preliminary hearing; for most people and the media it was information. For me, every detail, every photo, was like my heart being ripped out over and over. I remember clearly the first day I saw Christina’s mother, Tina.

I knew how I felt when I was in court. I just wanted to be alone before and after the court proceedings. I did not approach Mrs. Schwarz.  Then one day, we just looked at each other, we shared unspoken thoughts.
We do not talk about the case. We have in the last week or so talked about our grief, our joy, how we cope and other things that are private.

This case has affected me like no other. Fr. Eric was a Catholic Priest and many people stick to their stereotypes about Catholics and many people in this town on a daily basis denigrate anyone who believes in God. Even in a tragedy such as Fr. Eric’s death. What I remember most about Fr. Eric is that he wanted everyone to experience God’s love. The only love that is unconditional.

I focus on Fr. Eric’s life. His entire life, not just one moment.

As I sit every day covering the Bodhi Tree case, even though I did not know Christina and Sunshine, what is foremost in my mind is they are love. They brought joy and love to every one’s lives they touched.
Jesus said the two most important commandments are to love God with all your heart, mind and soul and to love thy neighbor.

Christina and Sunshine and many of the young people that lived in the Eye Street house followed those commandments more than many people who go to church daily. They helped each other and showed each other love. This was a house where some people struggled with addiction; others did not; some people resided there; some visited. It was a safe refuge.

These young people, many struggling with poverty, not caused by them, but by a narcissistic “me me” society where stepping over someone to be successful is okay, where a drug culture cares less about the person, only getting someone hooked.

I am not someone who could live in a commune. I used to have very strong feelings about addicts and addiction, even marijuana. Like some people who judge Catholics, I had my prejudices.

Not all Catholics are the same. Not everyone who smokes marijuana or struggles with addiction is the same. The young people who testified in this case have some values we could use more of in today’s society: protecting women from sexual predators, taking in someone homeless, caring for each other when you are in the midst of adversity.

We have a criminal justice system that will vigorously defend two suspects, feel sympathy for two people that had choices; they chose to indulge in drugs and alcohol and they chose not to seek help. What about those who are trying to change their lives? What about those innocent lives that just happened to be in the way of someone who lost control?

Regardless of the decision of the criminal system process, the victory will be Fr. Eric’s, Christina’s and Sunshine’s. You will be remembered for your love and changing lives, not taking a life.